9 Tips for Better Car Sex, According to Experts

WHEN YOU THINK of car sex, visions of fumbling first-time fingering or awkward, stiff-necked blowjobs likely flash before your eyes. And even though car sex is basically a right of passage, that doesn’t mean it’s only reserved for horny teens who have no place to bone besides the back of a CVS parking lot.

You heard it here first: Car sex is for grown-ass men, women, and nonbinary babes, too. Not to mention, a change of scenery actually offers tons of benefits for your sex life (which, BTW, benefits your health). “New places create novelty and excitement,” says Jenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT, a sex therapist and licensed family and marriage therapist in Aspen, Colorado.

In fact, car sex may be just what the doctor ordered, especially if you and your partner have been in a bit of a rut. “Good sexual relationships require a lot of work, which is antithetical to what we’re told: that good sex just naturally happens, and if you’re really happy, you’ll just have it all the time,” says Gigi Engle, a sex and relationships psychotherapist, sex educator, and author of Kink Curious. “That’s not actually accurate. Good sex takes intentionality, consistency, and thinking outside of the box to keep things fun.”

Well, one way to think out of the box? Jump into the backseat. Car sex can be a way for couples to get a little kinky, thanks to its sort-of-public nature. Of course, taking a ride on the wild side isn’t without its risks, but with the right precautions (more on that later), car sex can be a seriously sexy adventure. Plus, “it’s far less expensive than a hotel room, and may not even require a babysitter if you stay in your driveway,” says Skyler.

Of course, car sex isn’t exactly as easy to pull off as missionary in the bedroom. To have memorable (in a good way) car sex, there are a few things you need to keep in mind. Below, experts break down the 10 best car sex tips to help you rev those engines efficiently and orgasmically.

1. Be smart about where you park.

First things first, you need to be choosy about *where* you’re going to have car sex. “Park thoughtfully and responsibly for an ideal amount of privacy,” says Skyler. Even though you’re in a vehicle, you can still get in trouble if passersby see you. Laws vary from state to state, but if you get caught in public view, you can, in fact, be charged with public indecency, lewd conduct, or indecent exposure. To avoid all that, park someplace private, like the edge of an almost-empty parking lot or near a campsite, and wait until it’s dark to go at it. Oh, and wherever you choose, make sure you turn off the car and utilize that e-brake to avoid a potentially dangerous situation.

2. Plan for car sex ahead of time.

Even though car sex can be super spontaneous, it’s always a good idea to plan ahead to ensure it’s as safe and satisfying as possible. Engle recommends prepping a car sex bag you can keep in your glove box or trunk. Handy things to include: Lube, a sex toy, an absorbent sex blanket or towel, condoms, and wet wipes (essential for cleaning up any resulting messes).

One quick note: Don’t leave lube or condoms in your car for extended periods of time since they can melt, says Skyler. Just grab them before you hop in, and make sure to take them with you when you’re done.

3. Use the space (or lack thereof) to your advantage.

If you have a smaller car, you likely know that you’ve got very few options, space-wise. Having sex in the driver’s seat is never a good idea since it’s all too easy to accidentally hit the horn or nudge the gearshift. The front passenger seat can also make for uncomfortably close quarters, so heading to the backseat might be your best bet.

Engle suggests taking advantage of the way your specific car is designed. If you have a spacious hatchback, get in there! And if the backseats fold down (which many cars do these days), even better!

Happen to be in a sex-negative car with backseats that don’t pop down? You can still sprawl out on a typical three-seat bench—just make sure to move the driver’s and passenger’s seats up as far as they can go before getting busy.

4. Play around with positions.

Naturally, the best car sex position is really going to depend on the type of vehicle you’re in, as well as your personal preferences and flexibility. But generally speaking, positions that are a little more face-to-face, such as missionary, partner-on-top/cowgirl, and lotus, may be easier to pull off, says Engle. Focus on small movements and grinding, she adds, “so there’s not a lot of bouncing around, because that can be quite challenging.”

Pro tip: Positions like cowgirl, where one partner is supposed to be on their knees, might not be the most comfortable if you don’t plan ahead. Bring a pillow or some sort of plush knee support, since the flooring of most cars isn’t particularly soft.

On that note… positions like doggy style, where one partner stands straight up on their knees, might not be doable—most sedans aren’t notorious for their generous roof space. But if partners want a rear-entry option, try the prone bone position instead, says Engle. Essentially, the top partner leans over the bottom partner (like spooning, just on your knees) so the top partner doesn’t bash their head on the ceiling.

5. Get loud.

If you live in a shared space with roommates or children, that usually means having animalistic, moan-filled sex is off the table. But getting it on in your car can change all that (just another reason to choose your parking spot wisely!). Not only can being loud during sex help you connect with your partner and release some of that pent-up energy, but it’s also a way to ensure breath control and keep your blood circulating.

6. Cue up your car sex playlist.

Another perk of having sex in the car is the built-in surround-sound speakers, making it a perfect environment for a curated sex playlist. “Sex is an experience that’s felt through all of our senses,” says Engle. “If we can enhance a certain sense in some way, it’s always a good idea to take advantage of that.” She suggests making the playlist together ahead of time, or making a collaborative playlist you can each add to on your own. You’ll see just how much of a difference a good beat can make when you’re knocking boots in the backseat.

7. Keep (some of) your clothes on.

Having sex in a car usually isn’t the time to get fully nude since someone can walk by or you might need to make a quick exit. As much as you may want to strip down, be smart about which garments you remove. Hike up skirts, pull down pants, and do whatever you need to do to keep your clothes somewhat on. This will a) keep your actions more concealed and b) give the whole experience even more of a take-me-now vibe.

That said, you can definitely use whatever clothes you do rip off to your advantage. Wad a shirt up for an extra pillow or use your jeans to prop your/your partner’s hips up to better angle yourself for bumping uglies.

8. Try different types of sex. 

Car sex doesn’t just equal penetration—there are plenty of ways to have a sensual car experience outside of ass-grabbing quickies. Since car sex does have that natural association with those teenage years, why not stick with the first few bases to channel that nostalgic feel? “The genitals don’t always have to rub up against one another to make the car a sexy time,” says Skyler. “Consider even a make-out session in a parked car for something new and different.” Seriously, never underestimate the power of dry humping.

Oral sex is also “incredible” for car sex, says Engle, and much more doable than penetration. “Giving or getting a blow job in the front seat is so easy to do,” she says. If eating your partner out is on the sexual menu, take it to the back seat or the trunk (if you have a hatchback), Engle adds.

And don’t sleep on hand stuff! Fingering, hand jobs, and/or rubbing your partner’s clitoris when you’re sitting in the front seat can be very sexy and much more low-key, since people walking by can’t see below your chest. “It’s a much sneakier and less obvious way to get away with it,” Engle says.

9. Remember the aftercare.

Even if your hookup was fast andfurious, be intentional about your aftercare, a.k.a. the steps you take post-sex to reconnect and wind down. Engle recommends cleaning each other up and going for a drive (you’re already in the car!) to debrief. Talk about what you liked, but also about the things you want to improve. “It feels unlikely that something isn’t going to go a little bit haywire with a car sex experience, especially if you’re new to it,” says Engle, “so you can make it really fun and playful and start to talk about your strategy for next time.”

Or maybe, after trying all of these tips, you decide there won’t be a next time—in the car, at least. That’s totally okay. Car sex isn’t for everyone, and you can still create that sense of novelty and excitement by getting it on in another new, but perhaps more spacious, place. Think: Atop the kitchen counter, in a tent while camping, or even on the beach.

The pleasure possibilities are truly endless, so don’t get discouraged if bumping and grinding in the backseat doesn’t go as planned. Car sex may be a little awkward and uncomfortable—especially at first—but hey, at least you’re getting some.

Meet the Experts

• ​Jenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT, is a sex therapist, licensed marriage and family therapist, and co-director of The Intimacy Institute in Aspen, Colorado.
• Gigi Engle is a sex and relationships psychotherapist, sex educator, and author of Kink Curious