I’m a Therapist and Spent $8K Designing My Den for Serenity

Considering a room revamp, but not sure where to begin—or how much to invest? In our latest series, One-Room Renos, we explore renovation projects big and small, from soft-good upgrades you can accomplish in a weekend to total overhauls that cost a small fortune and take months (or longer). 

Today, a mental health therapist shares how she inherited her parents’ home outside of Pittsburgh and designed a space to connect with herself.

This wasn’t just about redecorating a den—can you tell us a bit about the bigger picture?

I’d been taking care of my parents and living next door. That role was very fulfilling, and I loved having that time with them in their later years. That said, I was starting to feel the effects of that responsibility and the loss of my personal time and privacy. When they passed, I inherited their house—and all of their things.

Did they have a lot?

In the last few years, they weren’t culling things they’d accumulated. It took me more than a year to sort through everything and choose what to keep and what to donate. I needed a creative outlet during that process. What kept me going was imagining how I would redo each of the rooms. 

What was your plan for their house?

The last thing I wanted to do was erase the memories of my parents. I wanted to leave the walls where they were. It was more of a re-envisioning and updating of the rooms.

What was the den like?

The den was one sad room. The curtains and furniture had been there for decades, but it also had crown molding. 

What were your hopes for the den? 

I really wanted a space where I could focus and concentrate for hours and be comfortable. I wanted to make changes that would help me connect with myself. I needed space to find my talents again. I wanted to feel a sense of control over my environment, because I had had so little control over my life the last few years. I also wanted to invite people to this space and feel proud.

How long did the project take?

It took me 16 months. I took the time to get clear on what I wanted to do in the room. In any room, we have needs for security, safety, and stimulation. It has to be a balance. That doesn’t mean equal parts. It means modulated so that you’re not overstimulated and anxious nor understimulated and bored. 

What was the first step?

I had to organize the clutter. In a cluttered room, items compete for attention, and that raises anxiety. I needed to clear space for a visual diagonal line across the room. That diagonal line widened the line of sight and made the room feel bigger. That sense of a bigger room helped me to breathe and feel less confined, and overall it lowered my anxiety.

What happened next?

The actual redesign took about four months after that.

What did that creative process look like?

I was on Pinterest a lot. I just kept brainstorming and pinning different ideas. 

How did you choose the paint color for the walls?

I wanted a paint color that mimicked the sky. The idea was to draw the eye upward to make the room feel bigger. I started by taking advantage of a free service with Benjamin Moore. I took photos of the room and uploaded them to try out different colors. I considered between 50 and 60 paint colors. I fantasized about doing something really bold like hot pink, but I knew that in six months I would feel trapped by that decision. I also didn’t want to slide into the trend of painting every room gray. 

What did you go with?

I ended up choosing Windy City for the walls and Whipped for the trim, both from a company called Clare. The site doesn’t offer thousands of colors, so as not to overwhelm you. Plus, the paint and brushes are delivered right to your door.

Did you do any other painting?

I painted the interiors of the bookshelves aqua to make the contents pop. The actual color is At Sea by Benjamin Moore. That one detail made them so much more vibrant.

What were some of your other design decisions?

I wanted a sofa that would create the feeling of being nurtured. It also had to seat three people comfortably and needed to be presentable because it’s by the entryway.

What did you choose?

I ended up choosing a sectional from Wayfair, and it’s absolutely perfect. I can sit on it for long stretches and get lost for hours, catching up on reading. It has enough stuffing to always bounce back. I knew it’d be good because I read the comments, which said that it held up after a lot of use.

Tell us about the armchair.

It’s a wicker armchair that spins. This way people can move freely and not feel trapped. I also have two ottomans that provide storage and extra seating.

What about the coffee table?

The glass coffee table is round to soften the lines of the room. I also didn’t want anyone to poke themselves in the thigh with a table corner. The glass allows the eye to pass through, which gives a sense of spaciousness. The room would have a completely different look if that had been a solid table.

Did you know you wanted to have plants?

We all have biophilia—a craving for contact with nature. The sight of nature soothes us. Even if it’s a fake plant, it has the same effect.

Where did the money for the renovations come from?

Savings. I knew for a year that I was going to do this, and that gave me plenty of time to set money aside.

Did you end up staying on budget?

Absolutely. The whole point was to do it without breaking the bank. Since the house is more than 100 years old, I didn’t know what repairs would pop up that I’d need to pay for. 

What were some of the biggest expenses?

The rug cost $3,000. The sectional and the curtains were about $1,500 each.

What happened after you were done? 

As I made these choices, it occurred to me that other people were going through the same situation. We all deserve the chance to get on with our lives without undue time researching all of this. I collected all the information from renovating my entire house, and turned it into a book, Design for Your Mind.

What do you love most about the den now?

It’s exactly the space I wanted and needed it to be. The den gives me a sense of peace, and it’s calming enough that I can work here easily, and it’s a very pleasant experience.