How to Tell If Your Skin Is Tired or Actually Aging

Hi! I’m Bob Gearing or, as my buddies like to call me, “Beauty Bob.” By day, I’m a well-SPF’d tech sales bro; by night, I’m a red-light mask guy who definitely didn’t think he’d care this much about skincare. Every month, I’ll be coming at ya with a real-guy perspective on beauty and grooming because, uh, nobody really taught us about this stuff. Questions? Hit me up @beautybob.

MOST DUDES DON’T wake up one morning and decide it’s time to think seriously about aging. We get there more quietly. A few rough mornings in a row. Fine lines that don’t disappear after a good night’s sleep. Skin that looks dull no matter how much water we drink. We hope it’s just fatigue because fatigue feels temporary. Aging feels permanent.

I can relate. I’m 44, happily chasing my two-year-old, juggling a career in tech sales, writing this column, and trying—keyword trying—to keep some kind of self-care routine going. Some mornings I look fine. Other mornings my eye bags hang lower than the jeans Gen Z brought back. What I’ve learned, through trial and error and a lot of conversations with experts, is that waiting to “feel old enough” to take aging seriously is how most guys end up overcorrecting too late.

Joshua Zeichner, MD, director of cosmetic and clinical research in dermatology at Mount Sinai, says he hears the question “am I aging or am I just tired?” from male patients constantly. And the answer, he says, is often both. “If you’re living a stressful life, not eating as well as you should, or not sleeping enough, those factors absolutely accelerate how your skin ages,” he explains.

When I asked my go-to facialist Lei Takahashi at Altered States in Brooklyn, New York whether she can tell the difference between tired skin and aging skin, she didn’t hesitate. “I can feel it the second I touch the face,” she says. Tired skin shows up fast and leaves fast. Puffiness, dullness, dehydration. “Those are temporary signals,” she explains. “They calm down once the skin is supported.”

Aging shows up differently. Fine lines that don’t soften after a few good nights of sleep. Texture changes. Uneven skintone. Subtle volume loss that creates shadowing, especially under the eyes. According to Dr. Zeichner, a simple light test can help clarify what you’re seeing. Lift your face toward a light source. If the darkness improves, that means it was caused by shadowing from volume loss, which is a structural change associated with aging. If the darkness doesn’t change, it’s more likely true pigmentation, which points to sun damage or genetics and requires a different approach.

Aging isn’t something to panic about, but it does require a different strategy. That’s where anti-aging skincare and, for some men, professional treatments come into play. Here’s how to understand what you’re seeing in the mirror, figure out what’s fixable, and make a few smart, sustainable adjustments without going nuts.

I’m Aging. Now What?

The mistake most men make isn’t using the wrong products. It’s reaching for the strongest thing too soon, irritating our face in the process, or doing nothing at all and hoping our skin figures it out. “Men want fast fixes,” says Chris Salgardo, founder of men’s skincare brand Atwater and former president of Kiehl’s. “But skincare is both routine and strategy.” The goal isn’t to erase age. It’s to care for your skin so it holds up better over time.

The sooner you build a steady routine, ideally before things feel “bad,” the more effective it is and the less drastic it needs to be later. “I always bring men back to a simple sequence,” Salgardo says. “Cleanse, treat, moisturize. And the real secret is committing to the nighttime routine. That’s when your skin isn’t fighting the environment and your products can actually do their job.”

The treatment step is where ingredients actually matter. This is where you target fine lines, uneven texture, and skintone. Hydration and barrier-supporting ingredients help the skin hold onto moisture and protect itself as its natural repair slows with age. Look for ceramides, glycerin, hyaluronic acid, and squalane. Peptides (not the kind the biohacker bros inject) help support collagen production over time while antioxidants protect against daily environmental damage. Retinoids are the long game. Used consistently two to three nights per week, they increase cell turnover and improve texture.

Even with a consistent routine, some changes don’t fully reverse with topicals alone, like deeper expression lines, persistent volume loss, or texture changes caused by long-term sun damage. “That’s when procedures like neurotoxins, fillers, or lasers can come into play,” says Dr. Zeichner. Men now account for roughly 16 percent of cosmetic procedures globally, a number that’s been steadily rising since 2023.

I’ve tried a few myself. I liked the way neurotoxins like Botox and Daxxify, which temporarily relax the muscles that create expression lines and soften certain areas, but I didn’t love feeling less expressive when I laughed or reacted to something. Filler was more of a toss-up. It gave me fuller cheeks, but it’s not something I’ve felt compelled to maintain. For me, procedures are optional tools not requirements. Often, I like to introduce regular sauna time. It doesn’t replace skincare, but it helps manage stress and supports circulation and recovery, which matters for how skin holds up over time.

Which brings me back to what actually matters day to day. Before you consider treatments, you need a solid skincare routine in place. Below is the nighttime routine I rely on, followed by a few cheat codes that help support it.

The Anti-Aging Skincare Routine

Step 1: Cleanse

This cleanser removes sunscreen, sweat, and buildup from the day without leaving your skin tight or stripped. I use it nightly, massage into my face for 30–60 seconds, and actually hit the spots most guys miss: around the nose, beard line, and hairline. It also has some antioxidant support built in. Clean skin is the foundation for everything that follows.

Step 2A: Apply a Retinoid (2–3 Nights Per Week)

If you’re going to use one ingredient for anti-aging, make it a retinoid. It’s one of the few ingredients proven to actually change skin over time by speeding up cell turnover, which helps smooth fine lines, even out skin tone, and keep pores clear. This product is gentle and the formula includes ceramides and peptides to support the skin barrier. I apply it two to three nights per week and always follow with a moisturizer. This is about consistency, not intensity.

Step 2B: Apply a Peptide (on the Non-Retinoid Nights)

This is an age-supporting peptide serum that does a little bit of everything for your skin. I like this as a supporting player, not a standalone miracle. Think of it as helping your skin stay resilient and responsive as you age. Apply it on nights you’re not using retinol and before your moisturizer.

Step 3: Moisturize

This moisturizer is lightweight and not sticky, which is exactly what I want before bed. I apply it after washing my face and by morning my skin feels smooth and soft. It’s a true overnight reset. The formula includes peptides that help support the skin barrier while you sleep.

Cheat Codes (Use as Needed):

These don’t replace the routine above, but they help support it when life gets busy.

Apply an Under Eye Patch

These are the most substantial eye patches I’ve used. They cool, de-puff, and smooth the under-eye area quickly without sliding down your face. Wearing them feels like putting on eye black again from my college baseball days, except now I’m trying to strike out puffiness instead of hitters.

Get a Facial (the Right Kind) and Consider Laser Treatments

Maintenance facials are always a good idea (like ones that include deep cleaning and red light therapy). But they probably won’t do anything to improve signs of aging. A laser treatment such as Fraxel or CO2 resurfacing would be the way to go for that, which can potentially improve fine lines, uneven texture, and pigmentation. Fair warning, though: They can be intense.

I’m aware that aging is a privilege. I just want to take care of myself as I move through it. Feeling comfortable in my skin, showing up with some energy…if a simple routine helps me do that more consistently, it’s worth the effort.